Whoever made this; I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!

http://www.fmylife.com/
Some of these are hilarious. How embarrassing.

I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO THIS SONG!

So from being completely shocked by the Supernatural season finale, (I'm saaaaaaaad) here is something amusing…

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet (October, 2002). It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

So mom and I are in the spa, and there's this annoying fluttering thing approaching my head, and hating bugs (especially mosquitos, but let's not forget the spiders) I yelp and swim away from it. Mom, not seeing the bug, screams and almost jumps out of the spa, while I get scared because I have no idea what she screamed at. We spend about five seconds yelling "What" between one another, literally cradling each other, before she asks what I was screaming at. I told her that there was a mosquito and asked what she'd screamed at in which she replied that she screamed because she saw me freak out and thought there was a floating head in the water.

^.^

Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Insane

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

Amnesia - I don't know if I'll be home for Christmas.

Narcissistic - Hark the herald angels sing about me.

Manic - Deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and buses and trucks and trees and fire hydrants and...

Paranoid - Santa Claus is coming to get me.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of roasting on an open fire.

Personality Disorder - You better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell you why.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Agoraphobia - I heard the bells on Christmas day but wouldn't leave my house.

Autistic - Jingle Bell rock and rock and rock and rock...

Senile Dementia - Walking in a Winter wonderland miles from my house in my slippers and robe.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus so I burned down the house.

Social Anxiety Disorder - Have yourself a Merry little Christmas while I Sit here and hyperventilate.

---

The Psychiatric Hotline

If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co-Dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have Multiple Personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are Manic, stop pressing numbers and listen to the instructions.

If you are Ambivalent, please press your favorite number as many times as you like.

If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are Depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer anyway…

StarxNoxStarCM: i want to love you with my spoon
darko crumbles: There is no spoon... Woah!
StarxNoxStarCM: Will you take the blue pill.... or the red pill...
darko crumbles: Red.
StarxNoxStarCM: Hell yeah!
darko crumbles: Duh! Otherwise there'd be no story.
StarxNoxStarCM: without a story. there is no spoon. well. was there a spoon to begin with?
darko crumbles: Without a spoon, the plain of existence is nothing, because there is nothing in this world... Nothingness.
StarxNoxStarCM: Very good mr. anderson.
darko crumbles: *Gives cocky stare* And who the hell are you? *Waits impatiently for answer.* Don't make me go kung-fu on you.
StarxNoxStarCM: You don't know kung-fu.
darko crumbles: Yes I do. It was programmed into me.
StarxNoxStarCM: Prove it.
darko crumbles: How can I when we're miles and miles away from each other? Unless if you've been unplugged too, or you give me your location to beat the crap out of you (which I doubt) then I have no way to prove anything. You're just going to have to trust me.
StarxNoxStarCM: I shall trust you on this one.
darko crumbles: Good. Good.
StarxNoxStarCM: Is it now...
darko crumbles: Maybe. You probably don't even believe me anyway.
StarxNoxStarCM: Does what i believe and what not i believe, matter?
darko crumbles: Does this conversation even matter? Its not real, so why waste the effort on trying to prove something? And I messed up that sentence format... But, it doesn't matter.
StarxNoxStarCM: Why not waste effort on something that isn't real. must i save my energy for something that is... real? and what do you define as, real.
darko crumbles: Good point. People waste effort all the time. And really, chatting online isn't all that effortless. In fact, it's quite fun. There was something in that pill... Dude...
StarxNoxStarCM: I'm sorry Neo. but that red pill was a drug. only to get you in bed. forgive me... mr anderson.
darko crumbles: *Gasp* How dare you... My level of trust is shattered. *Shock.*
StarxNoxStarCM: Things are meant to be broken.... well in your case, shatter.
darko crumbles: Har, har.

http://www.paperdollheaven.com/
^So sad, and even more sad that I got addicted to it.

( So I indulged my inner fangirl self ) ( And now, the real fun started here )